by Elliot Lyons
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is stay.
I’ve seen a number of people leave their long-term partners suddenly because they said the relationships just weren't working. They had doubts, so they threw away entire relationships in a flash.
They felt suffocated, frustrated by what wasn’t present.
And that’s perfectly normal—there may even be things about the other person that make us question the future.
But pressure busts pipes.
These pent-up feelings end many relationships prematurely because the only freedom we can see is in escape.
We see our partners as barriers, not as resources. We only see the negative space and not how they positively fill our lives.
In these times the best thing we can do is stay, learning how to express and deal with our feelings in a way that includes our partners. It doesn’t mean we may not still leave in the end, but we know this possibility doesn’t justifying doing it now.
At the heart of situations like these are effective communication, patience, and a commitment to stay true to what we said we would do in the first place: stand by them when it gets hard.
Effective communication means telling them our doubts, asking them how they feel, and creating a plan together to try and improve the relationship.
Otherwise, we’re not facing any of our problems because that requires going in on the issues, not running away from them.
Coming clean and then to an understanding with our partners, especially when it involves leaving, is difficult. But we’ll never be able to get anywhere in any romantic relationship if we flee from our problems and don’t learn how to manage them.